In this eight-session video study, Pete and Geri Scazzero directly address core biblical principles to guide you and others into an experience of discipleship that will deeply change your life. This study is part of the Emotionally Healthy (EH) Relationships Course that also includes the Emotionally Healthy Relationships Workbook and the Emotionally Healthy Relationships Day by Day devotional.
Community Temperature Reading is the building block for the rest of the relationship skills that follow. Use it to discover and express your God-given voice and to build healthy relationships with others. It's about brief sharing in five categories: 1) Express appreciations 2) Use puzzles to avoid negative assumptions 3) Lodge complaints by saying "I notice" and suggest solutions by saying "I prefer" 4) Provide new information and 5) Share your hopes and wishes.
We routinely play God when we make assumptions about another person or interpret a certain behavior without verifying the facts. We need to Stop Mind Reading because making assumptions without checking them out damages friendships, families, and relationship in churches and workplaces. Clarifying Expectations is about eliminating confusion, pain and disappointment over unspoken, unrealistic, or un-agreed upon expectations.
Family patterns from the past are played out in our present relationships without us necessarily being aware of it. Someone may look like an individual acting alone—but they are really players in a larger family system that may go back three to four generations. Track your family patterns with the Genogram to discover the family history that lives inside all of us and is affecting us today. The great news of Christianity is that your family of origin does not determine your future. God does!
Scripture teaches that feelings are a key part of what it means to be made in God's image. Yet, humans are like icebergs: 10 percent is above the surface and visible; 90 percent is below the surface and invisible. When we Explore the Iceberg, we learn 1) unprocessed emotions don't die 2) healthy community requires that people know themselves and 3) feelings help us discern God's voice.
To Listen Incarnationally is to listen at a heart level, with empathy attuned to the words and nonverbal communication of another person, so that person feels felt by you. In unhealthy togetherness, we want another person to think and feel the way we do. In healthy togetherness, we respect each other's separateness, allowing the other to have their own thoughts, feelings, fears and values.
The pressure on us to live a life that is not our own is great. Powerful generational forces and spiritual warfare work against us. Living faithfully to our true self in Christ represents one of the great tasks of discipleship. By Climbing the Ladder of Integrity, we clarify our values by processing our thoughts and feelings, and, if appropriate, asserting ourselves respectfully.
Unresolved conflicts are one of the greatest tensions in our lives. Instead of risking a broken relationship, we prefer to ignore the difficult issues and settle for a false peace, hoping it will somehow go away. It doesn't. We learn, sooner or later, that you can't build Christ's kingdom on lies and pretense. By Fighting Cleanly, you resolve conflict maturely by eliminating dirty fighting tactics.
A Rule of Life is an intentional, conscious plan to keep God at the center of everything we do. It provides guidelines to help us continually remember God as the Source of our lives. It includes our unique combination of spiritual practices that provide structure and direction for us to intentionally pay attention and remember God in everything we do.
A table leader for the Emotionally Healthy Relationships course facilitates a sense of community for the group and offers support. Pete explains the progression and logic of the 8 relationship skills, and shows how each one builds upon the other. It is important to prepare by practicing each skill beforehand, so you can coach people as they are learning the skills during each session. Pete teaches nine principles for being an effective table leader including Speak for Yourself, Turn to Wonder, No Fixing, and Trust & Learn from Silence. This session concludes with three discussion questions to help new leaders internalize these principles.